Ramble On...

"And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song..."

But for now, dear readers, it will most likely be on Wordpress. 

I needed a change.  I like the features over there a bit better.

So if you would like to continue on with me, on 'My Aquarian Odyssey..."  clink the link and ride along on this Mystery Ship.

http://myaquarianodyssey.wordpress.com/ 

Love and light to you!

The Darkest Hour Is Just Before...

I've always really been into the Winter Solstice.  Ever since I first learned about it I guess.  I heard about it from someone dear to me, someone who hipped me to all the spiritual & metaphysical things I am into now.  I was almost 16 years old, and was more in touch with the dark side back then.  Most teenagers are I suppose.  She told me it was a time to leave the dark behind.  To write out your new intentions for the new year. And to also write out what you wanted to leave behind and then burn that list.

Woody Guthrie's List

As many of you may know, Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year.  I don't really like that...because now that I am well out my teen years, I don't like the dark...and probably, never really have.  In fact I will let you in on a little secret about myself...I am SO scared of the dark.  I always sleep with a night light too! But also I don't like the dark because the light feels so good...in many ways of speaking.  You can see everything better in the light and less there is to hide.  It seems like the shadier things get done in the cloak of darkness...under the night sky.  I guess that's where that term came from. Shade means absence of light...ie "Shady".  Hmmm...there could be something to that thought...?
Anyway....

I like the warmth of the Sun.  I like how people come out of their caves and seem to be in better spirits.  I do like the night too.  Without it we couldn't see the Stars & The Moon...so I guess we wouldn't have ASTROLOGY!

AQUARIUS!

There are parts of the world where it stays light for many months. The Land Of The Midnight Sun.  I remember when I was a little girl, my Dad saying to me that I should live there, this place where it never got dark, because every night I would cry when I would have to go to bed, alone...in the dreaded darkness!  He was trying to make me laugh I guess, but for years I would wonder how I could move to that part of the planet.
I wonder why I was so affected??  I think a lot of kids are, especially the sensitive ones.

Land Of The Midnight Sun

Back to this Solstice!   Even though this is the shortest day of the year and the longest darkest night, it does signify the end of the darkening of the days.  It means that little by little the Sun will be making more of a stay here, taking up residency and brightening up our lives.   That is SUCH great news to me!
So in our lives we are to look towards brighter days.  Taking account of all the darkness we would like to change and let go of, while we are in our homes, keeping warm. 

We are to spread warmth to others as well.  That is what the Pagan and Christian holidays are based on.   Bringing gifts, food, holiday cheer!

There is so much more to this special holiday.  I wish I had the time and energy to expand on it...the Druids...Stonehenge...the way things were back in those days...where they didn't have the comforts of this modern age.  Many knew that some wouldn't be making it to see the Spring of the next year due to starvation and the bitterness of the upcoming Winter.   It makes me feel very grateful for the coziness of my Treehouse tonight as I write this to you on my lovely MacBook Pro, tummy full from the nice healthy dinner I made and so very warm from the heater going.  I feel kinda spoiled as I think of all the modern conveniences we have today...even just the readily accessible food, shelter, warmth...THE INTERNET!  If those ancient Druids only knew what was on the way!  MACBOOK PRO??  WTF??  SOURCERY!!  Hahaha!

It's easy to take all of this for granted.
I hear the winds really blowing outside. I feel so grateful for what I have...and send love and prayers to the ones that don't tonight.

The dawning of Winter is now upon us. The beginning of winter in the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice, is on the night of December 21/22, 2011. The moment of the 2011 winter solstice is 12:30 am on Thursday morning, December 22 in the eastern standard time zone. In the Pacific standard time zone, the solstice is at 9:30 pm Wednesday evening, December 21.

So light your candles, write your lists, let go of your dark past, share love and light and get ready for new and brighter days ahead!  

The darkest hour is just before dawn!  

"These go to eleven...."

If you loved 'This Is Spinal Tap' then one of your favorite parts must have been Nigel telling Rob Reiner all about his beloved collection of guitars and how proud he was of the Marshall that could go to 'Eleven".

So now it's upon us...the date of all dates...11/11/11.  What does that even mean exactly?
It has numeric significance.  Eleven is a magical number.  I see it almost every day along with those other numbers that the "Midwayers" like to show me. 12:12, 12:34, 3:33 etc...

They're letting me know they're around.  I find it comforting to know I am not alone.  The Midwayers  are the entities that are closest to the Earth and are not quite angels.  That is what I have gathered from my research, and I feel their presence constantly.  I always wonder what messages they are trying tell me.

I find it very fascinating and will probably expand more on them in future blogs so STAY TUNED!

I hear many say that 11:11 is a time to make a wish.  I can dig that.  I LOVE making wishes!

I hear it's the time to when the Gates of Heaven are open.

I have heard it is a time of awakening and that 12:12 is a time for taking action upon that awakening.  In much of my research I have seen a plethora of meanings and symbols due to this special set of numbers.  It is actually quite a vast subject if you hit the Information Super Highway.

It is reported that an unusual number of couples plan to marry on this special date.

Gamblers favor the number 11 as well.  I have been drawn to 11 for many years actually.  But I have a special affinity to this number because if it's affiliation with the movie.  I had a boyfriend who used to tell me that I went "to eleven".

He said it was because of my intensity and how I do everything to the Nth Degree, and that am 'Over The Top'.   This is true about me.  And I have learned to accept it and love it about myself.  Yet learning to turn down the dial when it's turned up in a negative tune.   Ha!  Cuz no one likes that noise, right?

I'm not exactly sure how I will spend this special date...probably just 'Play It As It Lays'...maybe start a new beginning.  Whatever it is I do...I have a feeling it will "go to eleven..."

Closer To The Heart

The title of this blog happens to be a title to one of my favorite songs by one of my all time favorite bands...that's right....RUSH!  And if you can't dig it well then you can just shove it!

Not only is the song really beautiful musically (in my humble opinion) but the lyrics have a great message about something that is really the most important thing in life when you think about it...The Heart!

And RUSH is a band that is all about that!  They totally stayed close to their own heart and wrote and played what they felt.  I, among others, have felt that is why they became and stayed so hugely successful. They played it like they felt it...did NOT bow down to commercialism.  And yes, they are definitely an acquired taste.  Probably why I have gotten shit for liking them by some, but I see their originality, their chemistry, their undeniable talent and their music literally has put chills through my body.   The gods of music brought these 3 together and the rest is history.

Ok so enough about RUSH.   What I am really trying to get to is the 'heart' of the matter.  It all starts with the heart.  If you truly follow your heart, you are being true to yourself.  It is who you really are!   Notice how whenever you point in reference to yourself, you point to the center of your being, you point to your HEART!  You don't say "I" and point to your head, because you are not your mind!   Don't get me wrong, we need that mind of ours, it becomes especially valuable when we feel we are losing it!  But we shouldn't begin and end with it.  We should use it to help us make good decisions but the heart should always be the deciding factor.  Don't shut it out.  Because if you do, you will never truly be where you want, or with who you really want either.

That is when meditation is so key.  I am always interested in learning about psychic ability.  Mostly because I believe it is an inherent part of us we don't use, much like most of our brain.  When I was reading about my favorite psychic ever, Edgar Cayce, he imparts the significance of meditating in order to get clearer psychic visions or hear messages...whichever of your gifts is stronger.

So why would that be??  Meditation is shutting off that constant chatter of the hard drive of our system.  THE MIND!  Always running...constantly processing...getting in the way of our true higher selves.   Our true selves KNOW what we truly want...where we truly want to be and who we truly want to be with.  Our true selves know all the answers too.  But have you ever noticed when you think too much about something, the answer just gets farther away?

In my spiritual practice we chant.  We can chant for whatever we want, and we do.  There are no conditions, and that is why I practice this particular sect of Buddhism.  One thing I have heard in regards to when we are chanting for something we want, or want the answer to, or want to get through is NOT to THINK about it!  Don't try to strategize!  Just come from the HEART!  It's all about the heart...it always is.  You can never go wrong that way.

Although one thing I will say in regards to that (as a disclaimer) is not to come from a place that is totally selfish.  I mean, I know of that expression..."The heart wants what it wants..."  But if what you want is your friend's lover it's not OK to go for it because you feel you are "following your heart."   That's just plain selfish and wrong and you know it. You can do whatever you want in this life, just know with every cause there is an effect.  And you will reap what you sow...trust me on that one.  That law is just that strict, like gravity...it is what it is.  INSTANT KARMA.

And plus that really isn't coming from the heart.  That is being self-centered.  And when you truly come from the heart and are honest and real about it,  my guess is that you wont be self-centered...you will be the 'centered-self'.  Big difference, right?

In my last blog, "Spock was probably a Scorpio..."  I tried to illustrate the importance of being in touch with your own heart, and actually the hearts of others too.  Empathy is not such a bad idea these days.  We have become such a self-absorbed society it actually is disgusting, that is if you want my personal opinion on the matter.
Love is what it's all about.  Love is the answer.  Love is all you need.

I mean, that's why we are all here, right?  To love and be loved.  Help each other and make the best of it while we are here.  To grow and become better people and to help others do the same?  That's the stuff we'll be taking when we leave...not the most toys...those stay here.  But if that was the case, then it's your empty soul that goes with ya!   hahaha!

Lately I have been fighting getting brought down in my own psychic mud.  I have been using the tools I have learned along the way and winning over some of my negativity and the challenges I have been facing lately.  Last night I joined a group at the center where I practice.  There is a special group that meets once a month for the issues of Mental Health.  It is run by a psychiatric nurse and some other therapists that practice this kind of Buddhism.  So I thought I would join them for encouragement, for my own feelings but more importantly to get some advice on how to cope with someone I love so dearly that is struggling with schizophrenia.  When I think about it for more than 20 seconds I will most certainly start to cry.  I was prepared to be very teary and emotionally and physically drained after the meeting.  I chanted beforehand for the best outcome.   And in fact I left that meeting so inspired!

I was so happy and filled with hope and a better perspective about the whole situation...even just about life.  As well as  this incredible POWER we all have within, to transform ANY situation!  Change any poison into medicine...and create value in whatever it is we are dealing with.  And how do we do this??  Well I choose to chant, because that is how I get 'closer to the heart' but I think if we point our bow in any direction, as long as the arrow comes from the heart we will hit the 'Bull's Eye' every time!

On the way home I felt better than I had in a long time. I had hope, I felt SO much LOVE!  As I drove home my iPod (which I think is possessed by the way, because of it's uncanny knack to play whatever I am feeling or thinking...that's a whole other blog anyway)  Nevertheless...a song came on that I have always loved so much because of it's beautiful sentiment and raw emotion.  It was "All Of My Love" by the mighty Led Zep.   A song written by Robert Plant about the death of his young son, Karac in '77.  He was only 4 and lost his short life to a virus.  How torturous that must be, to bury your own child, so young.  If I really think about it and empathize, I will cry.  I'm not going to lie, the thought of it breaks my heart to pieces.

The song is so amazing.  I love the keyboard intro, followed by Bonham's drums...and then the sound of Robert's soulful vocals and lovely lyrics about how he feels so much love for his son.  He sings with sadness but almost a sense of triumph...and joy for knowing and loving his son.  It is uplifting as well as bittersweet.  But what I love the most is that even though the song is about one of the most traumatic subjects you could find,  you can still hear the almost haunting sadness, but the glory of his deep and undying love.   It is very real and so touching.
As I listened to it on the way home, I was in such a great and positive, loving state.  I appreciated that song like I never had before.  Music moves me more than the average person, I am a very sensitive soul, but this was something I could really feel with my heart.  Probably because I feel it expanding so much lately with the things I have been doing...changing my perspective, chanting, meditating, studying and most importantly coming from the heart!

(wish there was a better video for this amazing masterpiece of music)

Spock was probably a Scorpio...

Before you, my dear Scorpio's,  get your tails up ready to sting...I am only referring to your gift / curse of being able to detach.  Maybe something I even envy of you at times.

The thing is with Scorpios (at least some of the ones I have known...and I knew them well) is that they are actually very sensitive.  Being Water Signs  they are more emotional, and also probably the most psychic of all the others in the Zodiac.  Probably due to their extreme sensitivity, and because of that I think they also must shut down for their own self-preservation.   They are INTENSE and that's what I LOVE about them! It always draws me in...the depth and darkness.  I myself have Scorpio Rising, so I get it.  

My Mother and younger sister are Scorpios...as well as my last 2 boyfriends (who happened to have the exact same birthday...YIKES!)
In the last 2 years living in my Treehouse, I have found TWO of them in my bedroom...not talking about the last two men in my life either!  TWO ACTUAL SCORPIONS!  When I asked my landlady about the 1st one, she told me they are not native to this part of the mountain.  She has never seen one in the 47 years she has lived on this property.  Neither had any of the neighbors.  When I told about the 2nd one I found she said..."You must have a thing with Scorpio's..."   HA!  Do I ever!

The 1st Visitor...I set him free after a long hike out to Tennessee Valley Beach

The 2nd Visitor...set him free on top of Mount Tamalpais...at my sacred spot.

I have noticed that Scorps can be so guarded.  Back them into a corner about something and IT'S ON!  Get ready for that venomous sting!  After all they are just a little insect, but can be quite fierce!  They can get down right mean if you call them on their shit.  And JEALOUS?   Some of the ones I have known get SO much so, they can't even admit it.  Part of the guarding thing I suppose.  And maybe because if they acknowledge it, it would unleash it.   "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!"   Ha ha!   I noticed many of them have to play it cool,  always the cool facade...even if they are a hurricane of wild emotions inside.   That's just how they roll I guess.   It may be how they protect themselves.   Not all have these traits...just an observation on some I have known.


They can be SO goddamn MAGNETIC too!  It can be lethal if one has a hold on you...Vulcan Death Grip!  I kid you not.  Poor Nurse Chapel!  To be in love with Spock all those years and he could never quite love her back...although I'm sure he must have in his Half-Human sort of way.  

They can be secretive and protective, not only of themselves but of their loved ones.  Another thing I love about them.


But what I don't love is their coldness at times.  For all that passion and intensity they can shut down on you like a robot...or a full blooded Vulcan you could say. Almost creepy to someone like me who mostly comes from the heart.  I heard once that they make good doctors because they are compassionate but can possess the detachment needed for what needs to be done...such as surgery and cool headed thinking under pressure.
I on the other hand feel everything...probably too much so.  So I look to them for their ability to have logic even if it is a little unfeeling at times.
So my question is...when does it get to a level that is entering into self-destructiveness?  When walls keep you from feeling...taking chances...going to the next level in yourself or with another person.  A paralyzing fear keeping you in almost a self-made prison.

That makes me sad when I think of some I have known who built that life for themselves.  But maybe it makes them sad when they see me drowning in an ocean of my feelings and emotions...with no way to rescue myself when I am really lost at sea.

I guess the answer would be for anyone of extremes to learn to take the 'Middle Path'.  And that is a big part of my journey...this Aquarian Odyssey I am on.  Learning to stay balanced in my 'wise mind'...not too emotional...not too logical.  I am getting better at it...balancing.  Well, my moon is in Libra so maybe I have half a chance?!


With Spock...I assume it was a hard balance...Half Human / Half Vulcan.  Probably really conflicted at times.  Torn between his two natures.  
I am not a HUGE Trekkie but like a lot of what the show had to offer.  As my dear friend, Steve put it....
"The original series had many of the finest writers of the time, and did their best to talk about our problems in society in a Fantasy format. Including everything from racism, to the sexual revolution...."


It truly was a ground breaking show and I respect it for what it did for society.  I was discussing something with Steve the other day, probably about Scorpios, maybe one in particular...maybe just about being detached...  And we came up with the Spock theory.  I said "Spock was probably a Scorpio..."  and then that launched into the whole Star Trek discussion.   Did I mention that we are NERDS?!

The episode is called "Amok Time".   The coping of his feelings and his shut down side nearly kills him.  That must be so hard to have that inner conflict going on inside yourself.  One thing I will say about the way I deal with my feelings is that I feel them and let them out.  Keeping stuff inside can really make you sick.  It can even kill you.  I have the courage to feel and admit those feelings...even if they aren't "cool".  In my personal belief system,  I find it even more "cool" to be able to be honest with yourself and truly know yourself and most importantly own up to whatever it is that is in your heart.

Although people that come solely from the heart can really get themselves into trouble.  I can personally attest to that!  But what gets us where we really need to go in life is our intuition.  That internal personal GPS system that a lot of us have shut down because we let our minds run the show.   I think our intuition is our "wise mind".  It's that middle path between cold, calculating confining prison of the mind and the full throttle high octane explosion of emotions.  One way is super limiting, the other can lead towards destruction.

In reference to my dear Scorpios, this is a sign of REGENERATION!  I love that!  Death and Rebirth!  In the Tarot, the Death Card is the sign associated with Scorpio.  

And they actually are the only sign to have more than one astrological symbol.   The Scorpion and the Eagle...or some say 'The Phoenix' and that is true for them as well.  "The Phoenix from the Ashes"!!   They say coming into this life as a Scorpio you must completely face your entire lower nature, where one is tested and has struggles to endure to overcome the weaknesses characteristic of that sign....selfish desire, pride, anger...etc... When the tests have been passed one evolves to the Eagle, or Phoenix I would suppose.   So even though Scorps kinda get a lot of "bad press" as far as the signs go, they can be quite evolved if they can push through those limiting behaviors.  It must not be easy to transform from a lowly little ground dwelling insect to the heights of one of the most revered animals of the Animal Kingdom.  But man, when they do...what an accomplishment and AMAZING feeling that must be!

 Best of luck and highest wishes to you, my dear Scorpios!  I believe in your undeniable STRENGTH and POWER!  I know you will make it to where Eagles soar!  And come up as The Phoenix that you are, in all your fiery blaze of glory from whatever ashes you find yourself in!

  


Just remember whatever 'Odyssey' you may be on, try to keep it on The Middle Path...and don't forget to use your Internal GPS!    


"Live Long and Prosper...."

RADAR LOVE

It never ceases to amaze me...this power I have...that we all have actually.  And the power I am speaking of is the power of energetic connection.
I am completely fascinated with my ability to read people's minds...especially when we are sharing a space together...driving along in the car...I am thinking of something and the person with me, usually someone I really love, will start talking about my exact thoughts!  It used to really creep me out, because I thought that my 'thoughts' were too loud!  Weird right?
It happens so much that I don't even trip on it any more.  It's just part of me being exquisitely sensitive to the world around me.   Not saying I am an infallible mind reader, but I will say I am usually right on.

So this leads me to believe in the supreme power of our intentions, and our innate inter-connectedness with those in our environment.  In my Buddhist practice, we believe we are at one with our environment...nothing is separate, we are all connected.  Everything that happens around us, we have a connection with it.

So I guess then it all starts with US!  And if we want something to change we must chant to change ourselves, our karma, or you could even say 'our energy'.

OK...energy...one of my absolute FAVORITE topics!  That unseen force that is so incredibly powerful, yet because we cannot see it...(well some of us maybe can)  we dont always give it credit for what it is, what it can do.   You can use it through thoughts, words and deeds.   All 'causes' as we say in this Buddhism.   One of the causes I like to make, especially when there is nothing left I can possibly do about a situation is CHANT!  By the act of using my voice accompanied by my intentions, the vibrations I use are POWERFUL!  I have manifested so many things that way, but most importantly transformed as a person, transformed situations in my life.  As well as aided and abetted others in their struggles and victories!

I am not saying by any means this is the only way to connect or manifest.  It can happen all day long to me.  Thinking of someone and my iPod will play all "their songs"...or they may call or text out of the blue!  Maybe even run into them.  That's happened to everyone at least once or twice, right?
A friend of mine knew of this power all too well.  She used to say..."Be careful who you call on your 'psychic cell phone'!"  That was her funny way of reminding me not to think of anyone I didn't want dealings with.  Because we are like human magnets!  Especially us super intense types with the crazy strong vibes!

Tonight was particularly interesting...I was chanting in front of my altar. I have been chanting so much lately because there are some things I really want to 'transform' and I also want to send my most positive energy to some others I know and love because they are really struggling.  So as I was in my 2nd hour of chanting I was using this time to visualize people I love...some in my life...some not right now. Nevertheless I was thinking of them.  When I thought of them I used a different technique this time...I envisioned them really HAPPY!  I didn't strategize how, who or what they were doing to be happy...just saw them smiling in my mind's eye.  Smiling and having a glad heart!   Earlier today I felt so heavy hearted, I could not shake it for most of the day.  For some reason I had the energy to chant longer tonight, an extra hour!  And when I chanted this way I felt so damn GOOD!  My spirits are so much lighter!  I don't even feel like the same person I was earlier today!   It was such a pleasant feeling to connect with the people I love and imagine them really HAPPY!
And when it comes down to it, that is only going to help them in being happy!  Positive visualizations are SO POWERFUL!!   So it's a WIN/WIN!  I love win/win situations!!

As I was chanting I couldn't help but wonder if they were picking me up on their 'Radar' so to speak.  I thought at times, "I wonder if this will reach them?"
Shortly thereafter I had that exact thought...my phone chimed from a text!  It was someone who I hadn't heard from in quite some time, that I had been chanting for during that hour, for their happiness!  And it was a good message too!
I felt it was kind of like the Universe reassuring me that we can all reach each other...especially if our hearts are in the right place.  Whether we use prayer, Reiki, visualization...and so many other fantastic modalities of energetic connection! We possess more power than we think!  There is so much more I want to say about this subject...and most likely will in blogs to come.  But for now I will say...I just LOVE this RADAR LOVE!